What 10 years of Building Connections taught us about Positive Change and the role of Belonging in it.

A generous, reflective 5-minute read by Luisana Zambrano and Joan M. Godoy

The first thing that comes to my mind when we think about community and belonging to one, is family. Then, culture and the context we grow up in. They both include a shared language, norms, behaviors and customs that we tacitly accept or default to. All these elements are then nurtured and enhanced through schools, places of worship, parks and playgrounds, “street university”, and extracurricular activities, which we commonly refer to  as “third spaces”. 

Have you ever stopped to think who designs those third spaces and with what intention? What happens when these “third spaces” change around us based on political, environmental or economic reasons? With the emergence of technology and the impact of the 2020 pandemic (there’s no doubt it had an effect on us!), social dynamics and the way we build community have changed. 

Yes, we have seen the growth of the feeling of loneliness, polarization and disengagement, directly affecting marginalized and underresourced communities and the way that we interact with one another. However, we have also seen the emergence of movements, activities, and connectors that aim to bridge gaps and bring us together more often, in person or online, and spread kindness and joy. 

The 10 Days of Connection is just one of those movements. One that has lasted and persisted for 10 years straight. As we evolved with it, we have learned several things that we’d like to gift to other community-builders out there. 

1. The most powerful connections happen across lines of difference!

When we started the 10 Days of Connection back in 2016, we tackled the need for neutral spaces for communities to converge and interact at a more human level, without common roles or labels, especially political ones. However, through the years, we also learned that the common ground is not enough.

For us to be truly able to deeply connect with our neighbor, a friend or even a family member, we need to dare to talk about the topics that tend to divide us not with the objective of changing anybody’s point of view but to try to understand one another. When we take the time to learn where that person who thinks opposite of what we do comes from, we often realize that we are not that different and agree to disagree with respect. 

With time, we see these neutral spaces decrease. We rarely have safe, free spaces to allow interaction across lines of difference and we cannot afford for that to happen. We, community builders, need to be brave to create them and equip all locals to be ready to be ready to show up powerfully, respectfully, and openly. The moment we allow both points of view, we build trust and curiosity to address the same issue collectively. More connected, united and active communities can result in more resilient communities and we have some resources here to help you do just that. 

Whoever is hosting should also try to embrace this by co-hosting with a collaborator across a line of difference. For example, environmentalists and artists, or someone who’s 18 with someone in their 60s. In case you need the reminder: we need to practice what we preach. 

2. You can't foster belonging without exploring power dynamics and making room for hard conversations.

It can be challenging (and scary) to bring together people with different points of view and perspectives. Yet, there are many ways in which we can manage the spaces and conversations for it to be a comfortable and transformational experience. 

How did we do it? First, by inviting all who want to join and preparing to welcome them equally and equitably. Then, by naming the topic of the conversation: from politics to religion, race, money, and beliefs. Lastly, because not everybody is ready to have certain types of conversations, we introduced intensity levels: from light to very intense for participants to prepare in advance and have a plan to recover after some. These levels also helped the hosts and facilitators prepare accordingly to contain the emotions, whether that was extreme joy and excitement, or shock and sadness. 

In the lead-up to the last iterations of the 10 Days of Connection, we prepared conversation guides and counted on the support of experts who know how to manage and facilitate delicate conversations. If you happen to need them, feel free to reach out to Athena Passera, Beth Wagmeister, The Center for Independent Living South Florida, Disability Independence Group, and Sergio Lopez. 

3. Measuring what changed as a result of an engagement is way more powerful than counting who showed up.

How can we distinguish connected communities? That’s a tough one for many of us and counting how many participants an event impacts barely scratches the surface. How participants feel and what they would do differently as a result of an engagement is what truly matters for connecting communities to one another. 

Trusting participants and following their interactions over time are, we think, the best ways to do so. For years, we asked participants certain questions that correlate directly with our thesis: connection strengthens communities. 

Some of the most powerful questions encourage people to share about their feeling of belonging based on their ability to be their full selves during an engagement, perception of being more connected to their community, the act of engaging with people from different backgrounds and perspectives to seek understanding, and their willingness to take action when witnessing an act of injustice or being called to volunteer somewhere. 

We recommend you to do the same. First, identify what are the changes that you hope to see in your community. Then, ask yourself how you will measure those changes. Thirdly, create a mechanism to continuously learn from the community that you are bringing together. Lastly, identify the tools that you will use and go for it. If you need inspiration or ideas, watch this video.  

On to work! 

For us, the 10 Days of Connection has represented an opportunity to not only recognize but celebrate and embrace differences amongst humans. Our uniqueness and the diversity of our superpowers are what make Miami, Miami, and we couldn’t be prouder.

To all community builders out there, we see you. We thank you. We hope you continue designing and building collaborative spaces. May these insights inspire you to continue curating opportunities for connection, belonging and basically peace-making. 

We will work hard to get this very important work funded because someone needs to be designing and building the third spaces that can and will shape the fabric of our society for the years to come. That conversation deserves another blog post and we might come back for it soon.

Happy connecting!